By someone who’s been there, still healing, and learning the hard way.
It Started in a Kickboxing Class
I didn’t notice it at first — or maybe I just didn’t want to.
I was in the middle of a kickboxing class, pushing hard, hitting the heavy bag like my life depended on it. And then… my vision blurred. Not fully — just slightly. Enough to notice. Enough to ignore.
The next day, it was still there. That strange distortion. Blurred edges. Warped lines when I looked at anything straight. Watching TV felt off — like the screen had ripples. My instinct said something was wrong, but my habits said, “You’re fine. Keep moving.”
So I did.
I ignored it for weeks.
The Wake-Up Call: A 3D Movie That Changed Everything
The moment I couldn’t ignore it anymore came during a 3D movie. I sat in the theater, put on the glasses, and saw… nothing. Just confusion. No depth. No 3D effect. Just a mess.
The next day at work, I told my boss. He didn’t have CSR, but he’d dealt with serious eye issues before. He looked at me — no hesitation — and said:
“Drop everything. Go to the ER. Now.”
That’s when the real journey began.
What My Life Looked Like Before CSR
In hindsight, my lifestyle was an open invitation for something to break. I was living in permanent fight-or-flight — and mostly fight.
- Work hard, play hard.
Long hours, aggressive meetings, power struggles, money arguments — rinse and repeat. - Burnout disguised as ambition.
After work, I’d take double doses of pre-workout just to get a gym session in. It wasn’t healthy — it was war. - Weekend escapes that dug me deeper.
Drinking hard to shut the stress off. No recovery. No reflection. Just rinse, escape, repeat. - No sleep. No nutrition. No routines.
I didn’t eat well. I didn’t rest. I didn’t have a rhythm. I had chaos — and I called it “normal.”
I was destroying my nervous system with my own choices. And eventually, it showed up in my eyes.
The Illusion of Control: What Didn’t Work
When I first got the diagnosis — Central Serous Retinopathy — I went into fix-it mode.
Supplements. Green juice. Yoga. Biohacking. All the “right things.” But my stress was still running the show.
The truth? You can’t out-supplement a nervous system that’s running from a tiger 24/7.
And you can’t fix your eyes if you won’t fix your life.
That was the first hard lesson.
What Actually Helped (and What’s Still Helping)
This is where things changed. Slowly. Messily. But meaningfully.
- I stopped treating healing like a to-do list.
I learned to pause, not just pivot. To listen, not just optimize. - I built routines instead of reactions.
Morning calm. Midday resets. Nighttime shutdowns. Less hustle, more rhythm. - I started tracking — not obsessing.
Just noticing patterns: food, stress, light, sleep. Not to control it all — but to understand. - I gave myself grace.
On the days it felt worse. On the days I felt hopeless. I stayed in the game anyway.
CSR forced me to meet the version of myself I’d buried under years of grind.
Where I Am Now
I’m not fully healed.
But I’m not the same person who walked into that ER, either.
Some days are clearer — literally and emotionally.
Some days are hard. The fear of recurrence never fully leaves.
But I’m learning to live with it, not against it.
I’ve found a rhythm. I’ve found tools. I’ve found hope.
And maybe most importantly — I’ve found myself again.
If You’re Just Starting This Journey…
Here’s what I’d tell you:
- Don’t ignore it.
- Don’t try to fix it overnight.
- And don’t go through it alone.
Your healing isn’t just about your retina. It’s about your reality.
Stress, identity, purpose — it all shows up here.
You’re not broken.
You’re being invited to slow down, look inward, and actually heal.
Drop a comment if this resonates. Or if you’re dealing with CSR, I’d love to hear your story.
You can also check out [my symptom tracker] and other posts that helped me get to this point.
More to come.
